Sometimes people need time to get an impression on another person. A first impression can quickly give way to a second impression which may not be appreciative.
My housemate has always bemoaned what had happened to her when she married her first husband. Seems he had made a good impression the first time he made it up, then grew a beard and created enough of a reaction that she was disowned by the family for a few years. She has always marked that as one of her biggest traumas in her life.
Well, recently she had reacted violently to my brother, almost as if he had done something merely by being here. She even went as far as suggest that my brother’s wife divorce him and live off welfare as long as she needs to.
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Now, here’s the kicker: Both actions were right actions!In my story of my housemate’s few years of disownership (she was eventually welcomed back into the family), it turned out the former husband was mildly abusive and very much a malingerer when it came to the working world. Not only that, but he seemed to do nothing to watch over his health after a certain point.
As for my brother, let’s just say I found out first-hand what type of person he is. After all, when you spend over $1500 on gifts when you just lost your home and you owe someone who bailed you out of some troubles $2,500, it definitely looks bad.
So no, I don’t appreciate whinings about people being disowned by their families. Sometimes it makes much sense — either in relation to the disownee or with whom the disownee chooses to hang out with.