Pac-Man — The Movie??????

Movie Rights to Pac-Man Gobbled Up

Hunh?

I played Pac-Man as a teenager. Those who knew me then knew me as a Pac-Man wizard, as I worked hard and long and finally mastered a Ninth Key Pattern (For those of you wondering, that’s the hardest Pac-Man gets in the easy setting. Energizers only reverse the Ghosts (they DON’T turn blue), they run faster than your Pac-Man, and the Red Guy REALLY goes fast towards the end of the rack.) and was actually able to earn back some of the money spent on that game with “Free” Pizzas during college.

The thing about the game is, you do the same thing every rack: eat dots, avoid ghosts, eat prizes in middle of screen, eat energizers, eat ghosts (if you’re allowed to), finish last dots. There’s no stupid quest thing involved in it.

I’m sure I’ll have to see the film, if only to confirm my suspicions that it will suck so bad as to be unnoticeable. But I’m already severely down on the film, and it’s only in the conception stage.

That’s right, friends, not everything conceived should be brought to full term.

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